Tina Fey Quotes

My dad looks like Clint Eastwood. His half-Scottish, half-German face in repose is handsome but terr...

There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino...

That night's show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who...

This worked out perfectly for me in college, because what nineteen-year-old Virginia boy doesn't wan...

I grew up in a family of Republicans. And when I was 18 and registering to vote, my mom's only instr...

Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions ...

And when she [her daughter] one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me ...

This is one of the weird things about motherhood. You can predict that some of your best moments wil...

Ever since I became an executive producer of 30 Rock, people have asked me, 'Is it hard for you, bei...

5) The Eyes Are the Windows to Where the Soul Is Supposed to Be

My unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism...

My unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism...

You all watched a sketch about feminism and you didn't even know it because of all the jokes. It's l...

By the way, when Oprah Winfrey is suggesting you may have overextended yourself, you need to examine...

Everyone is quiet. Which is the wooooooorst. It’s scary when a group of people all know instinctivel...

Almost everyone first realized they were becoming a grown woman when some dude did something nasty t...

In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way.

Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that “women ...

My first job as assistant director was to make sure he didn't cast the talented blond dancer who had...

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry....

Don't waste your energy trying to change opinions ... Do your thing, and don't care if they like it.

For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't ge...

And, you know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women -...

Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Satu...

I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and mayb...

You've gotta stop calling each sl*ts and wh*r*s. That just makes it more okay for GUYS to call you s...

(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter...

Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look l...

You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.

A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what _they_ we...

It's one thing to be a wisecracking precocious teen hanging out with twenty-seven year olds.It's ano...

Only in comedy, by the way, does an obedient white girl from the suburbs count as diversity

I was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, "Nice ti...

So, to sum up my room-clearing generalizations, men are in comedy to break rules.

I find, the fancier the fashion magazine is, the worse the Photoshop. It’s as if they are already so...

It was a major and deeply embarrassing teenage revelation. It must be how straight teenage boys feel...

I have one top-notch baby with whom I am in love. It's a head-over-heels "first love" kind of thing,...

As an improviser, I always find it jarring when I meet someone in real life whose first answer is no...

Most photographers have some kind of verbal patter going on when they shoot: "Great. Turn to me. Big...

What is he rudest question you can ask a woman? 'How old are you?' 'What do you weigh?' No, the wors...

The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you're improvising, this me...

The second rule of improvisation is not only to say yes, but YES, AND. You are supposed to agree and...

Don't hire anyone you wouldn't want to run into in the hallway at three in the morning.

(My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin a...

When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from som...

I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflect...

If you want to be a screenwriter, take an acting class to get a sense of what you're asking actors t...

I think part of picking where you live in New York is accepting who you are. Really looking at yours...

I have a suspicion - and hear me out, 'cause this is a rough one - I have a suspicion that the defin...

I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.

I have a strong urge to lie down and pretend this is not happening—like the old couple in Titanic.

...Whenever someone says to me, 'Jerry Lewis says women aren't funny,' or 'Christopher Hitchens says...

the best of" show was completely gone and we were in big trouble, except we didn't really care.

You have to let people see what you wrote. It will never be perfect, but perfect is overrated.

When did you first feel like a grown woman and not a girl?” We wrote down our answers and shared the...

Lots of teenage girls have taken comfort under the wings of half-closeted gay boys.

There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims othe...

When I was really young, I loved the movie 'White Christmas' - I still do - and I thought Rosemary C...

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tel...

Lorne knows that the most exhausting people occasionally turn out the best stuff.

There's a Drunk Midget in My HouseAh, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on wh...

Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around tha...

It's a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to...

We spent days and weeks doing nothing, calling one another ten times a day to schedule our nothing-d...

Because, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I was embraced by the gays. They loved me and praised me....

It’s a great lesson about not being too precious about your writing. You have to try your hardest to...

The only way I could get comfortable around people was to make them laugh. I was an obedient girl, a...

I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. ...

I work, and then whenever I have any other time, I'm with my daughter, and then I go to sleep. I thi...

One family, two impressively gay brothers.

Do your thing and don't care if they like it.

Someone should do a study of the human brain and how quickly it can adjust to luxury.

Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In wha...

My parents raised me that you never ask people about their reproductive plans. “You don’t know their...

I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s. I wouldn’t trade the small thin-lipped m...

In 1995, each cast at The Second City was made up of four men and two women. When it was suggested t...

Mary Tyler Moore was a working woman whose story lines were not always about dating and men. They we...

(Don Fey had a large rubber stamp that said "bullshit," which was and is awesome.)

Your father doesn't fucking play games. you would never come home with a shamrock tattoo in that hou...

[T]he definition of 'crazy' in show business is a woman who keeps talking even after no one wants to...

Was it too much to expect the rest of the world to care about grammar or pay attention to details?

I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Comple...

It is a testament to my parents that they never reacted negatively to the four-year-long pride parad...

In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest di...